William 6.4

Will lost another tooth this month. This time his top left tooth (the top right is wiggly and likely close behind it). He lost it at home on a Friday and apparently if you lose a tooth at school, you get to go to the school nurse and she gives the kid a special tooth shaped necklace to put the tooth into, so that it will stay safe until the kid gets home. Anyway, Will was bummed that he was going to miss out on this necklace. I told him that I asked the tooth fairy if she would leave the tooth behind so that he could take it to school on Monday and get a necklace. So he did just that and was so excited to come home with his tooth in that necklace on Monday afternoon!

School is still going ok. At the end of November he had a series of conflicts with some boys in his class and on the playground. I got a sob story about how everyone was mean to him and said that they hated him and how they called him a bunch of mean names. Now, I know my son and when he told me this, my first thought was what did he do to those boys first. Will has never been the most socially adept guy. Simple social cues tend to just fly right over his head, and he can be willfully ignorant to the point of rudeness when it comes to rules of organized or semi organized play. Basically he decides he wants things to go his way and can be a bit of a jerk when other kids object. I was never able to get a straight answer out of him about what exactly happened. I must have asked him 10 times and got 10 completely different stories. It was super frustrating!

Finally I kind of took the middle road, and told him that if kids call him names or are mean, hes to get a grown up to intervene right away (they have a very low tolerance for that sort of behavior at his school). I also coached him on how to properly interact with others on the playground, particularly when it came to organized games. I told him that he was to LISTEN to others and to always follow the rules that other kids are telling him to follow. We went over it and over it until I was sure that he at least understood what I was saying and knew what was expected in a few example scenarios. I kept him back one year due to this very issue (social awkwardness) and now seeing how hes doing this year, I am very glad I did. If he had gone in last year it might have been a disaster. For her part, his teacher said that this group of boys was her most difficult in many years, and that she thinks Will is very sweet. I hope that over time he learns some lessons on how to interact with others and things get easier eventually. It sure is hard to stand back and watch from the sidelines!

William has been taking swimming lessons since September and has moved up a level, so that now hes in the top of the beginner swimmers and is nearly ready to go into the advanced class. He can tread water fairly well and now just needs to fine tune some of his moves (crawl stroke, back stroke, etc). We have been taking the kids to this indoor water park up in Lynnwood and we've been able to practice a bit of what hes learned in class and I've been amazed at the improvements hes made since last summer!

Will is a boy that loves routines, and that extends to food as well. He gets into a food routine and will stick with the same food for a certain meal, for months and even up to a year at a time. Then he eventually switches to something else. Lately every morning during the school week, he eats two cinnamon toaster waffles with peanut butter on it. Every lunch during the school week is always the same too: a peanut butter sandwich, a fruit snack, some grapes and a marshmallow. On the weekend however he gets a much loved treat for breakfast in lieu of waffles: Costco chocolate muffins. He looks forward to those all week and eats them with gusto. Those muffins are not small either! I get full after eating a half of one! One morning recently I told Michael that we needed to get the kids to eat the bananas we had, as they were going to go bad soon. So Michael told Will that in order to get half of a chocolate muffin, he would have to eat a banana first. Will agreed and then asked Michael if he ate two bananas, could he get a whole muffin. Michael agreed, but privately thought that there would be no way that Will would be able to finish that much food. Will proved him wrong however and over the course of a half hour, finished both bananas and the whole muffin. We were both suitably impressed!

Will is still  doing a wonderful job with his weekly chores. He almost never complains and will stop whatever hes doing at the drop of a hat, when we tell him its time to take out the compost pail or empty the trashes. This month Michael told him about the concept of the year end bonus, and explained that in many workplaces, they will offer their workers a year end bonus, and he hinted that Will might want to ask for one. Will thought about that for a few days and talked it over with me, and then he negotiated directly with Michael for a year end bonus. He wanted $100 initially and then went they back and forth a bit until they decided on $10 (his weekly amount is normally $5). He was pleased with himself, and Michael and I were proud of him for having the courage to go through with it. I don't think I would have at that age!

Finally, near the end of the month, a funny little thing happened. My family was visiting and my brother was sleeping on the downstairs couch in the kid's playroom. Will comes up to Michael and says, "Dad, someone is sleeping on our couch!" Michael, always one to stir the pot a little, leans over, looking concerned and asks Will, "oh man! Who is it?" Will, looking equally concerned, whispers back gravely, "I don't know!" Michael and I had a good little laugh about that. Later the same scene was repeated by Nora. Oddly enough, neither kid seemed terribly concerned that a 'stranger' was sleeping on our couch, they just wanted us to know about it. LOL!

Will is pretty excited about Christmas and Santa's upcoming visit. He has been asking more and more questions this year and I believe that this might be last year he believes in Santa. I have always felt some discomfort with lying to the kids about magical persons/creatures and as as result I tend to downplay the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but we talk about Santa most of all. I am never quite sure what to tell him when he asks questions . . . I loved the magic of it all as a kid and I want my kids to have the same appreciation for holiday magic. We do talk a lot about the fact that anyone can be a Santa if they give gifts selflessly to others and the power of kindness, but I think next year I will do more on that count as a way to transition Will into the post belief phase gently. I've read about other parents letting their non-believing kids take a more hands on approach in the gift giving to others and I might try that as well. Also Michael and I are both pretty nervous that once Will figures things out, he will let the cat out of the bag for the other kids and ruin it for them, but I am hoping he wants to preserve their magic as well. I guess we will see!

William is an intelligent and intense kid who experiences a lot of ups and downs. He can be very sweet, generous and thoughtful one moment, and challenging, ungrateful and rude in the next moment. You never know what you will get sometimes. He thrives on routine however and getting plenty of sleep, so that is our goal this winter! I hope it will help smooth our some of the bumps and make for a smoother ride for all of us!